Wednesday, November 28, 2007

What's going on?


So, I didn't quit last week- much to my own chagrin. Since we decided to push the wedding back until January, I have to wait a little while longer before I can do that. I'm okay with it for now but I stand by my decision to get out of the domestic violence field (at least full time). And I'm still thinking about what's on the horizon for me though. Insha'allah it'll be something rewarding. Yesterday I got a call from the county of the city I'll be moving to insha'allah. (Does that make sense?) They wanted to interview me for a position working in the court system. Unfortunately, they wanted me to come in for an interview tomorrow or Friday. Since there is no way I can hop on a flight and be in the city by tomorrow or Friday I had to turn it down. Oh the pain! But I have to let it go. There's nothing I can really do about it anyway. I can only hope that something similar or better is on the horizon.


On Thursday my cousin had Thanksgiving dinner at his house. Initially I was opposed to the idea because my mom usually does Thanksgiving (and she's a much better cook). But then my cousin wore me down when he talked about cooking halal so that I could eat (unlike the last family BBQ where I ate salad while everyone else downed chicken wings and burgers). In the end we all had a nice time. One of my cousins came by with his new baby. The crazy part is she looks just like me. If I was walking around with that little girl people would think she was mine. I guess it's kind of cool to get a glimpse into the future and see what your baby could look like! Since she took to me so well, I have gave my cousin a break and held her for most of the night. I can't believe I'm saying this but after holding my cousin's baby and looking into her little angelic face, I'm starting to feel the baby itch. As I was holding her I was thinking, I could do this. Why am I so afraid? Why am I running from this? My sister was watching my interaction with the baby and she told me that she could see me as a mom. Allah truly knows best on this one though...

On Saturday I went to hang out with my sister for most of the day. We didn't really do anything we just sat around her apartment and watched the episodes of The Boondocks that I didn't have the opportunity to see since I don't have cable. It's weird to see my sister so grown. I keep having to tell myself that she's an adult now. She lives with her boyfriend an has her own life. Yet, since we're 13 years apart I still look at her like she's a little girl. (Course I would never tell her that because she is adamant about being grown now).

After spending so much time with my family this weekend, it dawned on me that I'll really miss having them around. It's been great spending time with them and doing things together. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I moved back here. When I'm with my family I feel like I can truly be myself. It's not like being with the women from the mosque or with my co-workers. I can be the old me with a new twist and no one feels any way about it. And now I'm leaving again, insha'allah. I suppose that's what airplanes are for...but it won't be the same.

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